Who Loves You The Most, Your Dog Or Your Wife?

There is a story about a man who wasn't particularly fond of pets. Perhaps he was just selfish! Now he didn't mind a small bird too badly, but he was not a 'cat person' (too sneaky) or a 'dog person (too high maintenance).' However, his wife brought home a dog one day and said the "kids needed a pet." It was a Chesapeake Bay Retriever and he named it 'Triever.' Triever became a part of the family pretty quickly and followed the husband everywhere and especially liked to ride in his pick up truck.

As happens on occasion,the wife became jealous of Triever and after a few months said the husband loved Triever more than he loved his wife. He explained it was a different type of 'love' and that the dog 'loved' him in return. Her eyebrows raised a little bit with that comment! He said that Triever always followed him, licked his hand, and was anxious to be with him. The wife said that she wouldn't lick his hands, but she was just as 'in love' with him as Triever.

The husband suggested they try an experiment to see just who loved him the most. He said he had devised a sure fire way to test the love of both of them. She was intrigued so she asked how they could settle this question once and for all time. He said he would put both of them in the trunk of her car, close the lid for about 45 minutes. The question would be answered when he opened the trunk and to see which one would jump out of the trunk and kiss him on the face and be happy to see him. The doctor prescribed him some salve for the cut on his nose and recommended a cold steak for his eye.

My wife and I moved into our first apartment last year after having always lived in a free standing house ('standing' was the only thing free about it) for all of our adult life. We have been married over 50 years – to each other. The management told us that pets were allowed but it would cost us $750.00 per pet. We had no pets and hadn’t had one in many years.

The last pet we had was a small curly little very hyper dog. We were having some stress at work and everyone agreed that a pet, specifically a dog, would be good for stress. I was one advertised in the paper and it said the current owner was going off to college and couldn’t take the dog. If someone didn’t give it a home it would be given to the SPCA where it might be euthanized. We called and met the guy in a shopping center parking lot, paid him $200.00 and took “Katie” home with us. It was quickly apparent that ‘Katie’ would have nothing to do nor had any idea about when she gifted us with her first pile in the middle of the living room and she seemed proud. Probably thought it was the least she could do for having rescued her.

I would take her out in the early morning and late night and she would not “hurry up.” She would simply stand on her hind legs while leaning against the pull of the leash and stare at a fountain next door with running water. The sound of the running water made me want to go, but not ‘Katie.’ When I took her to the park for a stroll, she would stand and lean against the pull of the leash and the two of us would stroll. Both adults and children would point and laugh at the dog walking and the dog walker.

We didn’t have a fence around the yard so we put “Katie” on our deck with a baby gate to keep her hemmed in. She ate through the floor of the deck. She had eaten and scratched a big hole in the deck before we noticed it. She hated being on the deck and we hated her crapping in the house. Such a big hole by such a little dog!

Fast forward a couple of months and we discovered that “Katie” had been owned by another unsuspecting family who had given her up to the “college bound” boy because they couldn’t control her. He saw an opportunity to make a couple hundred dollars and he cast his line. We bit! And we were hooked. By now, we had several hundred dollars invested in my stress reliever and lots of gifts.

Katie's final gift was presented to me following our night time standing in the yard. Katie and I went back inside and I was sitting at the kitchen table having some ice cream. I began to get the aroma of another gift and when I looked down, there was a steaming pile of used dog food right between my feet. Within a couple of days we found another home for Katie and we gave her her freedom with two dog houses, inside and outside, bowls, leash, collar, and a well used pooper scooper. I began to feel better when the new owners were backing down my drive way with Katie standing on the front seat with her hind legs and her two front feet on the dash board. We were both happy.

Too late I learned that there is a better way to have a pet and they are not all just 'plug n play,' there is a website, which can relieve many of the hard parts of owning a pet. Click here and learn the right way to buy a pet, house a pet, train a pet, and love a pet. After all, 'a dog is a man's best friend!'

Cause Joy!

Exhaustion and Anxiety

When I was in school many moons ago there was a young man on our swimming team who was not the best, but he wanted to be. He worked out in the weight room and he swam whenever there was water in the pool which was always. Into his second year, he did not always show up for practice and the coach told him he was going to have to be more regular in his practice sessions and ask if everything was OK at home and the young man assured him it was and he would be more dependable. He missed the very next day's workout. When the coach left the session, he found Bret sitting in his car. The young man said he had something wrong with him and he didn't know what to do. After much examination and help and sympathy from the coach, the doctors determined that he was missing work outs because he was having an anxiety attack and was afraid to get out of his car. He just sat and struggled until it was over.

Exhaustion and Anxiety

Why do some people have a problem with anxiety and others do not?

This is a question almost everyone who experiences anxiety asks themselves at some point or another. Why me?

My understanding of anxiety is that yes, some people seem more susceptible than others but that the key trigger tends to be exhaustion. By exhaustion I mean mental, physical, or emotional exhaustion. (Under physical exhaustion I also include things like diet or substance abuse)

For some it may be exhaustion caused by a hectic life and never taking time to release the stress. People like that often do not notice their stress levels are so high until they get blindsided by a spontaneous panic attack.

For others it may be an emotional exhaustion caused by the loss of a loved one or the break up of a long term relationship.

If the anxiety is caused by a traumatic life event it is interesting to note that the person frequently does not experience the anxiety until the event has passed.

You often see people dealing very well with a crisis but then several weeks later when the dust has settled they start to feel the anxiety. It is like they have been in shock and are only now starting to process the experience.

The most important thing to remember about panic attacks or general anxiety is that help is available and it is important to get help sooner rather than later.

I always recommend visiting your doctor first of all to really determine that it is just anxiety you are dealing with and not an underlying physical ailment. Once you are sure that it is anxiety that you dealing with, treat it.

Don’t wait

Burying your head in the sand hoping it will simply be gone next week is not an effective way to treat it. It is totally unnecessary to spend months if not years dealing with something that can be corrected now.

That help is available right here.

The Panic Away Program changes the way you process your anxiety enabling you to end panic attacks and general anxiety. It costs no more than a dinner for two but can change your life so much for the better. Invest in the right kind of information. Information that puts you back in control of your life. That is the best kind of investment you can make.

To learn more about Panic Away

Click Here

To your success,

Barry Joe McDonagh

PanicAway.com

All material provided in these emails are for informational or educational purposes only. No content is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or medical condition.

Why Distraction Helps Ease Anxiety

Focus is difficult the older you get. Let not your heart be troubled, distraction is helpful to ease anxiety.

Why Distraction Helps Ease Anxiety

In order to quickly move away from generalized anxiety you need to throw yourself 100% into life.

What is needed is to engage regularly in an activity that stimulates you, and holds your complete attention, something in which you can become completely absorbed.
Something that distracts you is a very valuable tool in taking your attention away from the uncomfortable sensation of anxiety that may be lingering in your body.
You see almost everyone with anxiety finds themselves getting a bit obsessed about how they feel at any given moment. The less preoccupied the person is, the more time there is to obsess over anxious sensations.

I am sure you have noticed that when you are doing something you enjoy or that really holds your attention, the less you ‘check in’ to measure your anxiety level.
Quite simply, the more you engage with life the less stagnant and anxious you will feel.

Some of the possible activities that interest you could be:
Gardening, playing a musical instrument, sport, or simply having a good conversation with a friend. The idea here is to find something that you can repeat on a regular basis that you enjoy doing or that at very least holds your attention.

If you find you have too much time on your hands and are having problems coming up with something you could do then I recommend you volunteer in a local voluntary scheme. It could be anything from helping the elderly, looking after animals or environmental conservation.
If you can spare even one or two hours a week for such work, not only will you feel your self-esteem improve, but it will help shake off any lingering feelings of isolation or loneliness which are so often accompanied by anxiety.

One thing you can be certain of is that there is some organization near you crying out for a volunteer just like you to assist them with their work.

The art of distraction has always been used to help people refocus and avoid concentrating on whatever physical or emotional discomfort the person is going through. It may just be the caring friend who invites their recently heart broken roommate out on the town to have some fun.
Dentists and doctors use distraction techniques frequently to distract the patient from a physical discomfort they may be experiencing, by giving them something else to focus on (usually the bill).

The purpose of using distraction, for people who want to live anxiety free, is to have new experiences that take the person’s mind off the anxious feelings they have been experiencing.
If you imagine that all the fearful anxious thoughts that go through your mind are like a roll of film being run through a film projector (your mind) and out into your life. Concentrating on some activity immediately cuts the film and brings you directly into the here and now.

When you are fully engaged with life there is no room for any anxiety disorder. This mental space you create enables both your body and mind time to become less sensitized to the anxiety.

By doing something you enjoy and feel you are good at, helps build new competencies. You are saying to yourself that the anxiety path is not one you want to travel down anymore and that you will put your focus elsewhere.

The more time you give to following these rewarding pursuits, the easier it is for your body to relax and return to a natural state of peace.

Combine this with my ONE MOVE technique and people often look back weeks later and wonder if it was really them who was so anxious all the time. Note, it normally takes a few weeks to reduce feelings of general anxiety. That is the standard amount of time to come back to feeling more yourself.

Let me remind you that I am here to work with you if you want to learn more about my course and the One Move technique which has turned so many peoples lives around.

I’m so confident that my program will help you conquer your anxiety, that I offer a 8 week trial. If you do not benefit from the course you can have your money refunded immediately.
My course Panic Away has proved highly successful with both long and short term sufferers of panic attacks.
Click here to learn more about Panic Away

Anxiety and Public Speaking

Anxiety and Public Speaking

There was a time when I dreaded having to stand in front of people and give a presentation on a subject as if I was an expert. I am still somewhat nervous to speak in front of a group. I have learned that it is much easier if I know my subject and not try to pull a fast one on my audience. Frankie says live your life to the fullest without fear of an attack.

I’ve often observed that many people’s top-ranking fear is not death but having to speak in public. The joke is that these people would rather lie in a casket at their own funeral than give the eulogy.

Public speaking for people who suffer from panic attacks or general anxiety often becomes a major source of worry, possibly weeks or even months before the speaking event is to occur.

These speaking engagements don’t necessarily have to be the traditional “on a podium” events; they can be as simple as an office meeting where the individual is expected to express an opinion or give verbal feedback.

In this case, the fear centers on having a panic attack while speaking. The individuals fear being incapacitated by the anxiety and hence unable to complete what they’re saying. They imagine fleeing the spotlight and having to make all kinds of excuses later for their undignified departure -out the office window . . .

This differs slightly from the majority of people who fear public speaking. With others, their fear tends to revolve around going blank while speaking or feeling uncomfortable under the spotlight of their peers. The jitters or nerves are, of course, a problem for this group as well-but they’re unfamiliar with that debilitating threat, the panic attack, because they most likely haven’t experienced one before.

So how should a person with an anxiety issue tackle public speaking?

Stage 1 is accepting that all of these bizarre and, quite frankly, unnerving sensations aren’t going to go away overnight. In fact, you’re not even going to concern yourself with getting rid of them for your next talk. When they arrive during a speech or meeting, you’re going to approach them in a new manner.

We need to build your confidence back to where it used to be before any of these sensations ever occurred. This time, you’ll approach it in a unique, empowering manner, allowing you to feel your confidence again. Some say that most of the top speakers are riddled with anxiety before an event, but they somehow use this nervousness to enhance their speech.

I’m going to show you exactly how to do this.

My first point is this, and it’s important:

The average healthy person can experience an extreme array of anxiety and very uncomfortable sensations while giving a speech and is in no danger of ever losing control, or even appearing slightly anxious to the audience. No matter how tough it gets, you’ll always finish your piece-even if, at the outset, it feels very uncomfortable to go on.

You won’t become incapacitated in any way.

The real breakthrough happens when you fully believe that you’re not in danger and that the sensations will pass. By asking for more, you’re saying:

“I realize that you [the anxiety] hold no threat over me.”

What keeps a panic attack coming again and again is the fear of the fear-the fear that the next one will really knock your socks off and the feeling that you were lucky to have made it past the last one unscathed.

Because they were so unnerving and scary, it’s your confidence that’s been damaged by previous anxiety episodes. Once you fully understand that you’re not under any threat, then you can have a new response to the anxiety as it arises while speaking.

There’s always a turning point when a person moves from general anxiety into a panic attack, and that happens with public speaking when you think to yourself:

I won’t be able to handle this in front of these people.

That split second of self-doubt leads to a rush of adrenaline, and the extreme anxiety arrives in a wavelike format. If, however, you feel the initial anxiety and react with confidence that this isn’t a threat to you, you’ll process the anxiety rapidly.

Using this new approach is a powerful ally because it means it’s okay to feel scared and anxious when speaking. That’s fine-you’ll feel it, and you’ll move with and through the sensations in your body and out the other side.

Because people are often very anxious before the talk has begun, they may feel they’ve already let themselves down. Now you can relax on that point. It’s perfectly natural to feel the anxiety.

Take, for example, the worst of the sensations you’ve ever experienced in this situation-be it general unease or loss of breath. You’ll have an initial automatic reaction that says:

“Danger-I’m going to have an episode of anxiety here, and I really can’t afford for that to happen.”

At this point, most people react to that idea and confirm that it must be true because of all the unusual feelings they’re experiencing. This is where your train of thought creates a cycle of anxiety that produces a negative impact on your overall presenting skills.

So let that initial “Oh dear, not now” thought pass by, and immediately follow it up with the attitude of:

“There you are-I’ve been wondering when you would arrive. I’ve been expecting you to show up. By the way, I’m not in the least threatened by any of the strange sensations you’re creating. I’m completely safe here.”

Instead of pushing the emotional energy and excitement down into your stomach, you’re moving through it.

Your body is in a slightly excited state, exactly as it should be while giving a speech-so release that energy in your self-expression. Push it out through your presentation, not down into your stomach.

Push it out by expressing yourself more forcefully. In this way, you turn the anxiety to your advantage by using it to deliver a speech; you’ll come across as more alive, energetic, and in the present moment.

When you notice the anxiety drop, as it does when you willingly move into it, fire off a quick thought when you get a momentary break (as I’m sure you have between pieces), and ask it for “more.” You want more of its intense feelings because you’re interested in them and absolutely not threatened by them.

It seems like a lot of things to be thinking about while talking to a group of people, but it really isn’t. You’d be amazed at how many different, unrelated thoughts you can have while speaking. This approach is about adopting a new attitude of confidence about what you might have deemed a serious threat up until now.

If your predominant fear of speaking is driven by a feeling of being trapped, then I suggest factoring in some mental releases that can be prepared before the event. For example, some events allow you to turn the attention back to the room to get feedback, etc., from the audience. If possible, prepare such opportunities in your own mind before the engagements.

This isn’t to say that you have to use them, but people in this situation often remark that just having small opportunities where attention can be diverted for the briefest moment makes the task seem less daunting.

It may even be something as simple as having people introduce themselves or opening the floor to questions. I realize these diversions aren’t always possible and depend on the situation, but anything you can factor in that makes you feel less trapped or under the spotlight is worth the effort.

Barry Joe McDonagh

PanicAway.com

All material provided in these emails are for informational or educational purposes only. No content is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or medical condition.