So What Are Your Plans For Happiness?

Be Happy Now !

If you are still waiting for your circumstances to change before you"ll allow yourself to be happy, you may be wasting perfectly good happy time. Most of us have preconceived ideas of what would make us happy, and we refuse to be satisfied until those things happen. You may have set a goal to reach before you will allow yourself to be joyful or happy. Remember, the most fun and the greatest blessings should be enjoyed on the way to your success.

The problem is that even once specific things happen in our lives, we're rarely satisfied with them! Instead, we shift our focus and desires to something even bigger and better, believing "it" will make us happy (or happier). We never allow ourselves to reach a point of contentment. Have you done the same thing to yourself?

The good news is that you can choose to be happy NOW - even if some things in your life is not perfect. Some people may think they are betraying their goal by having fun and enjoying themselves before they grab the brass ring. Not true! Part of a good vacation or trip is the trip itself. My mother always made the destination her only goal and she preferred to have 'Scotty' beam her up rather than to enjoy the trip. Some of my best memories are of road trips with my mom and dad and listening to different shows on the radio like Amos and Andy, Lum and Abner, Jack Benny and Rochester, the Lucky Strike Hit Parade, and others.

It is indeed your choice to be happy or miserable getting to your goal. It is much more fun and many more memories are created if you choose to enjoy the trip to your successful goal. When you reach your goal, there is not much else to do so you should have fun on your way there. You may not have another chance to recapture those lost moments with your family.

Below you"ll find 3 easy ways to do so:

1) Be grateful and acknowledge it out loud. Gratitude is one of the most powerful states of mind that you can adopt. Not only does it make you feel good, it shifts your focus from what you don't have to what you DO have, and keeps it there! As you focus more on what you are grateful to have in your life (even the really small blessings!), you worry less about anything that may be lacking. The result? A more pervasive sense of happiness! Gratitude clears your mind and makes room for joy. If you get your mind off of yourself and make room for thankfulness you will have fewer gray hairs and it is a good way to avoid wrinkles.

2) "Take time to smell the roses." If you spend most of your days feeling rushed and scattered, it's hard to feel happy and content. In order to be truly happy, you need to make time for yourself to relax, dream, and take pleasure in life's simpler moments. Beginning today, make sure to spend time doing things you love on a regular basis. Read books that stimulate your imagination; listen to great music; take long walks, and generally make an effort to enjoy your life as it is right now.

When my first granddaughter, Jordan, was just two or three years old, she and I would get together at least once a week and go to lunch somewhere, just she and I. She is now twelve and just yesterday she was recalling times that we went to lunch together in my pickup truck and the different places we went to get our lunch and then where we would go to eat it. We usually went to a park so she could play and we could talk about different things. Those times away from the office to be with Jordan are some of my happiest memories. The goal was still there when I got back, but I had joy with me.

3) Love the journey. Many of us make the mistake of pinning all of our expectations on some vague, far-off result, like the completion of goals. We believe that once we "get there" everything will be perfect and we"ll finally be happy. However, there is much to be gained from enjoying the journey TO your destination! Make it your mission to revel in every moment that you"re working toward higher goals. Enjoy the sense of self-mastery and accomplishment you gain with every goal you achieve. Make it a worthwhile journey and you will savor the end result even more!

The most important thing to understand about happiness is that it is largely a CHOICE you make from moment to moment and it usually lasts just a little while. Though certain serious situations make it difficult to feel happy at times, most often we allow the little things to bother us and block any happiness we would otherwise feel. Embrace happiness, and it will grow to monstrous proportions in your life!

Cause Joy!

Retirement Isn't For Everybody

Retirement Isn't For Everybody

Are you the type of person who never was able live up to stereotypes? When we think of a stereotype, the classic mind picture is the image of your standard senior citizen. That image is as a slowly moving Grandma or Grandpa who is long done working at their career and wants nothing more than to sit on the back porch and wait for the next holiday to see the grandkids. Well, if you are like a lot of senior citizens of the new century, we look at that stereotype and say - forget that image!

We are the kind of people who have had the most amazing and exciting lives because we took chances and lived active lives taking on challenges and winning at most of those challenges. Probably the most puzzling idea of that sweet stereotype of Grandma and Grandpa is that we all are expected to go into retirement at 65 or 70 and stop working because we couldn't wait to retire. But not everyone is like that.

Some of us are in careers that are the calling of our lives and going to work is as much like play as it is work. You love what you do and you are good at it. It is the way you are happiest. The idea of not doing it every day of your life is more like prison than a reward at the end of life. In fact, the very idea of changing how we live because it is 'the end of life" seems like surrender as much as it is a long vacation. And we are not the kind to surrender to the inevitability that life will end. The end may come and get you, but it is going to have to find me first and then it will have a fight on its hands.

Don't misunderstand, I am ready to go when my time runs out, I do not fear death because I know that I will be joining many of my relatives and friends in a place much better than this earth. However, I am enjoying my wife and children and my beautiful granddaughters, Jordan and Carson.

If you are that kind of person, retirement may not be for you because retirement isn't for everybody. And just because some people have the image of stopping their careers just when things were getting great as a way to live their last few decades, why should you be forced to live someone else's dream? That is why we live in a free country. You should not be forced to retire. Well, maybe you could take up a sport!

If you love what you do, continue to do it. Getting up and going to work is as much of what makes your blood go through your veins and keeps your metabolism balanced as much as good food and rest. People by nature are born to work. It's what defines us and making something to contribute to society and being rewarded for that labor is what makes you tick. So you should not feel bad when you are the senior citizen that throws the stereotype out the window and continues to thrive doing what you love - working at your job.

In today's economy it may be necessary to put off retirement for a while longer. It may be that your 401K has, like many, become a 101k and it is necessary to continue to be employed just to make it from day to day. Continuing to work can be as fulfilling as a passive retirement, maybe better. You might not be able to travel, but with the security lines what they are, maybe a video of Ireland or Italy would be better spent with your family than being reminded once again that there is no place like home.

A friend of mine who couldn't wait to retire and sit in his big chair and watch television and the birds in the fields. He sat in that chair until he died which was not that long after he retired. He was not active and had no goals to strive toward except wait for the next copy of the television listings. He lived and died as he wanted to and much the same as many stereotypes.

One way to expand your role in the profession you love is not to step down but to step into the role of senior advisor, chief counsel and wise old owl of the office. Your decades of experiences are a treasure trove of wisdom and a source of teaching for the young pups coming up. Even tho' they may believe that they know everything and you are just an old fool who will not get out of their way, they don't. This is one reason why in some companies all around the country, management is seeing the wisdom of retaining senior citizen workers rather than forcing them into retirement.

While it is certainly true that many senior citizens do not know how to use a computer, many of them do and want to know more. I was at a meeting recently and the leader asked if anyone had a computer to make a recording of the meeting to be converted to the required minutes, but no one did. He asked if anyone had anything that would record and the room was silent for a minute and one of the old guys spoke up and said, "I have a pencil!" None of the younger staff dudes thought of a pencil and a piece of paper.

This is a big shift from the mentality that was prevalent for far too long that thought the old had to get out of the way for the new. Now the old are or can be a precious resource to teach the young how to do things which were not taught in Harvard. The way they learned was by experience. By treating senior citizens with reverence and respect, business is learning what many civilizations have known for a long time, senior citizens are a treasure to be prized and cared for, not thrown away.

Cause Joy!

Why Should We Celebrate Father's Day Or Fore Father's Day?

We are coming up fast on Father's Day. It is not a national holiday justifying a day off or anything special, but it is a day you can say thanks to your fathers. I personally thank my father each day for being the man of responsibility he was and for instilling that trait in me and my two younger brothers, Ron and Mark, both of whom are great Americans. I am very flattered and proud to be reminded that I look like him and hope I am getting more like him each day. We are passing those sacred values to our peeps and grand peeps. They are also great Americans.

Hey, by the way, a really strong snugly hug, and a 'thanks for being my mentor and I love you' will be far more appreciated than neck wear. Yes, it is OK for the men and boys to hug their fathers if they are fortunate enough to still have one. If you don't, someday you may wish you had hugged him or shown him more love when you still had the chance.

I think we should also remember and honor our forefathers. This current obamanation that is being allowed to be pushed down the throats of the American people by obama, his sycophants and socialistic mentors (home grown terrorist, Professor Bill Ayers) is an insult to everything America has stood for as long as there has been a Pilgrim landing on our shores. The soldiers who have fought for liberty and freedom have not fought and some died to bow to the Saudi king or apologize to Chavez or any other banana republic dictatorship.

This nation was developed because of and under Judeo Christian principles and battles were fought to be able to worship the way we wanted to worship. That includes all religions, Islam, Buddist, snake handlers, etc. But, those religions should not diminish the religion of our founding fathers as is being done by the secularists with the help of the ACLU. This is still a "Christian Nation" in spite of what obama declares to Muslims in their Mosques. It is still a 'Christian Nation' inspite of what Brent Walker says. It is also noted that the obama's have not found a church in which they may worship regularly as he stated in at least one of the campaign rhetorical rote speeches written for him to say. He even threw his pastor of some 20 years 'under the bus.' He 'didn't listen to him' anyway.

It was recently reported that obama is not using two teleprompters as thought, one is a mirror! The required teleprompter kept blowing over by the gulf coast wind on the beaches so we didn't hear much from him or his script writers from the beach. He mostly doodled in the sand. Heck, he won't even meet with the BP CEO indoors.

In my opinion, obama did not want to be The President of the United States for the people, he just wanted to be 'the man,' as in 'yu da man.' He wants to have all of the trappings and honors and authorities afforded to the job, but he does not want the responsibilities. IMO, if he is not made dictator within two years, he may not run again.

He is rehashing the 'Health Care' debate and still trying to sell that piñata and whatever it may be full of. He is just digging up bones. When the November elections come around he wants people talking about the health care issues which will at that time still be the law of the land, he does not want to be known as the slick oil spill do-nothing president or, obama the oil slick.

He is now creating a diversion! He may be coming to grips with the fact that each candidate which asks him to campaign for them has lost. This country sorely misses Bill Clinton, (WOW!). Slick Willie was not hard enough on the people who would destroy us, but he kept most of his screwing of people in the back hallways or the bedroom. Not on national news on a daily basis telling us it is good for us! Obama is not seeming very Presidential when he does not know whose "ass to kick." He shouldn't be looking to kick or to kiss anyone's ass. He should be trying to solve the problem with thought, science and collaboration with knowledgeable people while maintaining his posture as the President of the United States of Ameriac.

In my attempt to be 'fair and balanced,' I want to say that I do not blame obama for the mess in the gulf. He has very little control over how things are constructed or under whose authority or when they might break down. Bush probably contributed to this spill as much as obama. The President has people in place to oversee all areas of responsibility and report to him. The President's responsibility is to exercise his authority, assist in solving the problem, and place the responsibility for prevention of this sort of catastrophe and fire with no life long pension plan the persons or many persons who were looking with a blind eye at the oil companies and their watch dogs.

I do not think it is a wise decision not to talk to the BP CEO nor not accept assistance from Denmark or Norway who know how to clean up that type of messy contamination. obama is being stubborn (why?) and he is allowing a bad situation to get worse by his lack of action or his delay (more troops) (why?) His administration will be remembered in November due their lack of action that could have been taken, not because of the fact that it happened.

For those of us who did not know, the Star Spangled Banner has four verses and does a few things that obama nor his elected or appointed people cannot or have not done. This musical composition honors our flag, bashes our enemies, Praises the "Power" and shows our 'trust in God.' Francis Scott Key was telling all who would listen that it was useless to try to overthrow a government or people who, and you can sing it like Kate Smith, Bocelli or rap it like "whatchamacallit," but any way at all, we win they lose as long as we maintain our principles for which it stands.

I also do not think it was a good statement to make to ban all deep water drilling or off shore drilling. Robert Gibbs will explain in the next day or so, 'what he meant---.' He will realize how many more people will be joining the unemployment rolls this close to re-election and he will renig on that dogmatic unthought out "stupid" remark. Just my opinion!

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light, What so proudly we hail’d at the twilight’s last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro’ the perilous fight, O’er the ramparts we watch’d, were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof thro’ the night that our flag was still there. O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore dimly seen thro’ the mists of the deep, Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes, What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep, As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses? Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam, In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream: ‘Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion A home and a country should leave us no more? Their blood has wash’d out their foul footsteps’ pollution. No refuge could save the hireling and slave From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave: And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand, Between their lov’d homes and the war’s desolation; Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the heav’n-rescued land Praise the Pow’r that hath made and preserv’d us a nation! Then conquer we must, when our cause is just, And this be our motto: “In God is our trust” And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Hey, God is up to something and we are a part of it.

Cause Joy!

Who Loves You The Most, Your Dog Or Your Wife?

There is a story about a man who wasn't particularly fond of pets. Perhaps he was just selfish! Now he didn't mind a small bird too badly, but he was not a 'cat person' (too sneaky) or a 'dog person (too high maintenance).' However, his wife brought home a dog one day and said the "kids needed a pet." It was a Chesapeake Bay Retriever and he named it 'Triever.' Triever became a part of the family pretty quickly and followed the husband everywhere and especially liked to ride in his pick up truck.

As happens on occasion,the wife became jealous of Triever and after a few months said the husband loved Triever more than he loved his wife. He explained it was a different type of 'love' and that the dog 'loved' him in return. Her eyebrows raised a little bit with that comment! He said that Triever always followed him, licked his hand, and was anxious to be with him. The wife said that she wouldn't lick his hands, but she was just as 'in love' with him as Triever.

The husband suggested they try an experiment to see just who loved him the most. He said he had devised a sure fire way to test the love of both of them. She was intrigued so she asked how they could settle this question once and for all time. He said he would put both of them in the trunk of her car, close the lid for about 45 minutes. The question would be answered when he opened the trunk and to see which one would jump out of the trunk and kiss him on the face and be happy to see him. The doctor prescribed him some salve for the cut on his nose and recommended a cold steak for his eye.

My wife and I moved into our first apartment last year after having always lived in a free standing house ('standing' was the only thing free about it) for all of our adult life. We have been married over 50 years – to each other. The management told us that pets were allowed but it would cost us $750.00 per pet. We had no pets and hadn’t had one in many years.

The last pet we had was a small curly little very hyper dog. We were having some stress at work and everyone agreed that a pet, specifically a dog, would be good for stress. I was one advertised in the paper and it said the current owner was going off to college and couldn’t take the dog. If someone didn’t give it a home it would be given to the SPCA where it might be euthanized. We called and met the guy in a shopping center parking lot, paid him $200.00 and took “Katie” home with us. It was quickly apparent that ‘Katie’ would have nothing to do nor had any idea about when she gifted us with her first pile in the middle of the living room and she seemed proud. Probably thought it was the least she could do for having rescued her.

I would take her out in the early morning and late night and she would not “hurry up.” She would simply stand on her hind legs while leaning against the pull of the leash and stare at a fountain next door with running water. The sound of the running water made me want to go, but not ‘Katie.’ When I took her to the park for a stroll, she would stand and lean against the pull of the leash and the two of us would stroll. Both adults and children would point and laugh at the dog walking and the dog walker.

We didn’t have a fence around the yard so we put “Katie” on our deck with a baby gate to keep her hemmed in. She ate through the floor of the deck. She had eaten and scratched a big hole in the deck before we noticed it. She hated being on the deck and we hated her crapping in the house. Such a big hole by such a little dog!

Fast forward a couple of months and we discovered that “Katie” had been owned by another unsuspecting family who had given her up to the “college bound” boy because they couldn’t control her. He saw an opportunity to make a couple hundred dollars and he cast his line. We bit! And we were hooked. By now, we had several hundred dollars invested in my stress reliever and lots of gifts.

Katie's final gift was presented to me following our night time standing in the yard. Katie and I went back inside and I was sitting at the kitchen table having some ice cream. I began to get the aroma of another gift and when I looked down, there was a steaming pile of used dog food right between my feet. Within a couple of days we found another home for Katie and we gave her her freedom with two dog houses, inside and outside, bowls, leash, collar, and a well used pooper scooper. I began to feel better when the new owners were backing down my drive way with Katie standing on the front seat with her hind legs and her two front feet on the dash board. We were both happy.

Too late I learned that there is a better way to have a pet and they are not all just 'plug n play,' there is a website, which can relieve many of the hard parts of owning a pet. Click here and learn the right way to buy a pet, house a pet, train a pet, and love a pet. After all, 'a dog is a man's best friend!'

Cause Joy!

Exhaustion and Anxiety

When I was in school many moons ago there was a young man on our swimming team who was not the best, but he wanted to be. He worked out in the weight room and he swam whenever there was water in the pool which was always. Into his second year, he did not always show up for practice and the coach told him he was going to have to be more regular in his practice sessions and ask if everything was OK at home and the young man assured him it was and he would be more dependable. He missed the very next day's workout. When the coach left the session, he found Bret sitting in his car. The young man said he had something wrong with him and he didn't know what to do. After much examination and help and sympathy from the coach, the doctors determined that he was missing work outs because he was having an anxiety attack and was afraid to get out of his car. He just sat and struggled until it was over.

Exhaustion and Anxiety

Why do some people have a problem with anxiety and others do not?

This is a question almost everyone who experiences anxiety asks themselves at some point or another. Why me?

My understanding of anxiety is that yes, some people seem more susceptible than others but that the key trigger tends to be exhaustion. By exhaustion I mean mental, physical, or emotional exhaustion. (Under physical exhaustion I also include things like diet or substance abuse)

For some it may be exhaustion caused by a hectic life and never taking time to release the stress. People like that often do not notice their stress levels are so high until they get blindsided by a spontaneous panic attack.

For others it may be an emotional exhaustion caused by the loss of a loved one or the break up of a long term relationship.

If the anxiety is caused by a traumatic life event it is interesting to note that the person frequently does not experience the anxiety until the event has passed.

You often see people dealing very well with a crisis but then several weeks later when the dust has settled they start to feel the anxiety. It is like they have been in shock and are only now starting to process the experience.

The most important thing to remember about panic attacks or general anxiety is that help is available and it is important to get help sooner rather than later.

I always recommend visiting your doctor first of all to really determine that it is just anxiety you are dealing with and not an underlying physical ailment. Once you are sure that it is anxiety that you dealing with, treat it.

Don’t wait

Burying your head in the sand hoping it will simply be gone next week is not an effective way to treat it. It is totally unnecessary to spend months if not years dealing with something that can be corrected now.

That help is available right here.

The Panic Away Program changes the way you process your anxiety enabling you to end panic attacks and general anxiety. It costs no more than a dinner for two but can change your life so much for the better. Invest in the right kind of information. Information that puts you back in control of your life. That is the best kind of investment you can make.

To learn more about Panic Away

Click Here

To your success,

Barry Joe McDonagh

PanicAway.com

All material provided in these emails are for informational or educational purposes only. No content is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or medical condition.

Why Distraction Helps Ease Anxiety

Focus is difficult the older you get. Let not your heart be troubled, distraction is helpful to ease anxiety.

Why Distraction Helps Ease Anxiety

In order to quickly move away from generalized anxiety you need to throw yourself 100% into life.

What is needed is to engage regularly in an activity that stimulates you, and holds your complete attention, something in which you can become completely absorbed.
Something that distracts you is a very valuable tool in taking your attention away from the uncomfortable sensation of anxiety that may be lingering in your body.
You see almost everyone with anxiety finds themselves getting a bit obsessed about how they feel at any given moment. The less preoccupied the person is, the more time there is to obsess over anxious sensations.

I am sure you have noticed that when you are doing something you enjoy or that really holds your attention, the less you ‘check in’ to measure your anxiety level.
Quite simply, the more you engage with life the less stagnant and anxious you will feel.

Some of the possible activities that interest you could be:
Gardening, playing a musical instrument, sport, or simply having a good conversation with a friend. The idea here is to find something that you can repeat on a regular basis that you enjoy doing or that at very least holds your attention.

If you find you have too much time on your hands and are having problems coming up with something you could do then I recommend you volunteer in a local voluntary scheme. It could be anything from helping the elderly, looking after animals or environmental conservation.
If you can spare even one or two hours a week for such work, not only will you feel your self-esteem improve, but it will help shake off any lingering feelings of isolation or loneliness which are so often accompanied by anxiety.

One thing you can be certain of is that there is some organization near you crying out for a volunteer just like you to assist them with their work.

The art of distraction has always been used to help people refocus and avoid concentrating on whatever physical or emotional discomfort the person is going through. It may just be the caring friend who invites their recently heart broken roommate out on the town to have some fun.
Dentists and doctors use distraction techniques frequently to distract the patient from a physical discomfort they may be experiencing, by giving them something else to focus on (usually the bill).

The purpose of using distraction, for people who want to live anxiety free, is to have new experiences that take the person’s mind off the anxious feelings they have been experiencing.
If you imagine that all the fearful anxious thoughts that go through your mind are like a roll of film being run through a film projector (your mind) and out into your life. Concentrating on some activity immediately cuts the film and brings you directly into the here and now.

When you are fully engaged with life there is no room for any anxiety disorder. This mental space you create enables both your body and mind time to become less sensitized to the anxiety.

By doing something you enjoy and feel you are good at, helps build new competencies. You are saying to yourself that the anxiety path is not one you want to travel down anymore and that you will put your focus elsewhere.

The more time you give to following these rewarding pursuits, the easier it is for your body to relax and return to a natural state of peace.

Combine this with my ONE MOVE technique and people often look back weeks later and wonder if it was really them who was so anxious all the time. Note, it normally takes a few weeks to reduce feelings of general anxiety. That is the standard amount of time to come back to feeling more yourself.

Let me remind you that I am here to work with you if you want to learn more about my course and the One Move technique which has turned so many peoples lives around.

I’m so confident that my program will help you conquer your anxiety, that I offer a 8 week trial. If you do not benefit from the course you can have your money refunded immediately.
My course Panic Away has proved highly successful with both long and short term sufferers of panic attacks.
Click here to learn more about Panic Away

Anxiety and Public Speaking

Anxiety and Public Speaking

There was a time when I dreaded having to stand in front of people and give a presentation on a subject as if I was an expert. I am still somewhat nervous to speak in front of a group. I have learned that it is much easier if I know my subject and not try to pull a fast one on my audience. Frankie says live your life to the fullest without fear of an attack.

I’ve often observed that many people’s top-ranking fear is not death but having to speak in public. The joke is that these people would rather lie in a casket at their own funeral than give the eulogy.

Public speaking for people who suffer from panic attacks or general anxiety often becomes a major source of worry, possibly weeks or even months before the speaking event is to occur.

These speaking engagements don’t necessarily have to be the traditional “on a podium” events; they can be as simple as an office meeting where the individual is expected to express an opinion or give verbal feedback.

In this case, the fear centers on having a panic attack while speaking. The individuals fear being incapacitated by the anxiety and hence unable to complete what they’re saying. They imagine fleeing the spotlight and having to make all kinds of excuses later for their undignified departure -out the office window . . .

This differs slightly from the majority of people who fear public speaking. With others, their fear tends to revolve around going blank while speaking or feeling uncomfortable under the spotlight of their peers. The jitters or nerves are, of course, a problem for this group as well-but they’re unfamiliar with that debilitating threat, the panic attack, because they most likely haven’t experienced one before.

So how should a person with an anxiety issue tackle public speaking?

Stage 1 is accepting that all of these bizarre and, quite frankly, unnerving sensations aren’t going to go away overnight. In fact, you’re not even going to concern yourself with getting rid of them for your next talk. When they arrive during a speech or meeting, you’re going to approach them in a new manner.

We need to build your confidence back to where it used to be before any of these sensations ever occurred. This time, you’ll approach it in a unique, empowering manner, allowing you to feel your confidence again. Some say that most of the top speakers are riddled with anxiety before an event, but they somehow use this nervousness to enhance their speech.

I’m going to show you exactly how to do this.

My first point is this, and it’s important:

The average healthy person can experience an extreme array of anxiety and very uncomfortable sensations while giving a speech and is in no danger of ever losing control, or even appearing slightly anxious to the audience. No matter how tough it gets, you’ll always finish your piece-even if, at the outset, it feels very uncomfortable to go on.

You won’t become incapacitated in any way.

The real breakthrough happens when you fully believe that you’re not in danger and that the sensations will pass. By asking for more, you’re saying:

“I realize that you [the anxiety] hold no threat over me.”

What keeps a panic attack coming again and again is the fear of the fear-the fear that the next one will really knock your socks off and the feeling that you were lucky to have made it past the last one unscathed.

Because they were so unnerving and scary, it’s your confidence that’s been damaged by previous anxiety episodes. Once you fully understand that you’re not under any threat, then you can have a new response to the anxiety as it arises while speaking.

There’s always a turning point when a person moves from general anxiety into a panic attack, and that happens with public speaking when you think to yourself:

I won’t be able to handle this in front of these people.

That split second of self-doubt leads to a rush of adrenaline, and the extreme anxiety arrives in a wavelike format. If, however, you feel the initial anxiety and react with confidence that this isn’t a threat to you, you’ll process the anxiety rapidly.

Using this new approach is a powerful ally because it means it’s okay to feel scared and anxious when speaking. That’s fine-you’ll feel it, and you’ll move with and through the sensations in your body and out the other side.

Because people are often very anxious before the talk has begun, they may feel they’ve already let themselves down. Now you can relax on that point. It’s perfectly natural to feel the anxiety.

Take, for example, the worst of the sensations you’ve ever experienced in this situation-be it general unease or loss of breath. You’ll have an initial automatic reaction that says:

“Danger-I’m going to have an episode of anxiety here, and I really can’t afford for that to happen.”

At this point, most people react to that idea and confirm that it must be true because of all the unusual feelings they’re experiencing. This is where your train of thought creates a cycle of anxiety that produces a negative impact on your overall presenting skills.

So let that initial “Oh dear, not now” thought pass by, and immediately follow it up with the attitude of:

“There you are-I’ve been wondering when you would arrive. I’ve been expecting you to show up. By the way, I’m not in the least threatened by any of the strange sensations you’re creating. I’m completely safe here.”

Instead of pushing the emotional energy and excitement down into your stomach, you’re moving through it.

Your body is in a slightly excited state, exactly as it should be while giving a speech-so release that energy in your self-expression. Push it out through your presentation, not down into your stomach.

Push it out by expressing yourself more forcefully. In this way, you turn the anxiety to your advantage by using it to deliver a speech; you’ll come across as more alive, energetic, and in the present moment.

When you notice the anxiety drop, as it does when you willingly move into it, fire off a quick thought when you get a momentary break (as I’m sure you have between pieces), and ask it for “more.” You want more of its intense feelings because you’re interested in them and absolutely not threatened by them.

It seems like a lot of things to be thinking about while talking to a group of people, but it really isn’t. You’d be amazed at how many different, unrelated thoughts you can have while speaking. This approach is about adopting a new attitude of confidence about what you might have deemed a serious threat up until now.

If your predominant fear of speaking is driven by a feeling of being trapped, then I suggest factoring in some mental releases that can be prepared before the event. For example, some events allow you to turn the attention back to the room to get feedback, etc., from the audience. If possible, prepare such opportunities in your own mind before the engagements.

This isn’t to say that you have to use them, but people in this situation often remark that just having small opportunities where attention can be diverted for the briefest moment makes the task seem less daunting.

It may even be something as simple as having people introduce themselves or opening the floor to questions. I realize these diversions aren’t always possible and depend on the situation, but anything you can factor in that makes you feel less trapped or under the spotlight is worth the effort.

Barry Joe McDonagh

PanicAway.com

All material provided in these emails are for informational or educational purposes only. No content is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or medical condition.